Program reaches out to children with parents in prison

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Once or twice a month, Jamie Puffpaff picks up her 13-year-old “little sister” from her Woodstock home.

Puffpaff, 43, of Crystal Lake, will spend four to six hours with her little sister, eating, shopping, bowling, or even going to Medieval Times.

The two also will have a girls’ day out and get manicures.

But this isn’t the traditional Big Brothers Big Sisters match.

Puffpaff’s little sister’s father is in prison. She is one of about 40 youngsters in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program who have a parent in prison.

“From my perspective, it didn’t matter,” Puffpaff said. “My focus is the child. Obviously the child is coming from an unfortunate situation and challenging circumstances.

“So my goals are to take her away from that a little bit and show her different experiences, and talk to her about things no one will talk to her about. I know I can’t change what’s going on in her house.”

Big Brothers Big Sisters of McHenry County receives a $40,000-a-year federal grant to run its six-year-old Mentoring Children of Promise program.

“We knew we already were serving children who had parents who were incarcerated,” said Dana Briscoe, director of programs. “We knew there were more we could reach.”

The matches are put together in the same fashion as traditional matches, where the agency tries to match personalities between the little brother or sister and the corresponding mentor, Big Brothers Big Sisters case worker Carolyn Johnson said.

They spend time together, maybe throwing a ball in the park, renting a movie, or baking cookies, Johnson said.

“From the beginning that was my goal, to have some sort of [positive] impact on her,” Puffpaff said. “She’s got an uphill battle for her without a doubt.”

According to Big Brothers Big Sisters, 70 percent of children of incarcerated parents will find themselves in prison, as well, unless they have a positive adult role model in their life.

They are more at risk to become involved in drug use and crime, to not do well in school, and to have low self-esteem.

“We want to put as many positive role models and surround them with as many positive role models as we can,” Briscoe said.

The child goes through stress, trauma stigmatization and separation problems, and usually feels shame because “these kids don’t want people [outside their immediate family] to know,” Briscoe said.

Puffpaff said her little didn’t even speak too much about her father. Instead, they speak about school, her mentee’s dreams, or when the mentee wants to have her own children.

“I try not to be judgmental but give her a different perspective,” Puffpaff said.

Puffpaff already sees success in her relationship with her little sister.

“I would say it’s already successful,” Puffpaff said. “She does trust me. She does talk to me. She does respect me. She wants to please me. She wants me to be proud of her.”